Honeymooners in Peril

Has anyone ever been subjected to this type of discrimination? It's really quite frightening and frustrating to know that just because Muslims dress a little differently that they should be vulnerable to personal violation.

I say "dress differently" rather than "look different" because the sister who was on honeymoon goes by the name of Katharine Klausing. Does that sound Middle Eastern you you? Or remotely Asian? Does it sound anything like our African brothers or sisters?

It is a pity the locals did not even have the courtesy to request a search from Abo Namous, even if they had no warrant to inspect the premise. It is a pity that could not respect the right of Klausing to cover as she wished before having men enter her house.

It is ironic though, in an Asian country, a white couple would be ever so welcomed to enter stores, cafes, homes. Sometimes I find it quite comical the way Asians (some Muslims) wait on hand and foot on Western guests, no matter how educated these Asians are. In fact, it seems like a recognition at times, to know Europeans, or even Americans for that matter. I don't know why. It baffles me.

But honestly, how do you combat these type of violations? True, there are some bad people out there, in the guise of Muslims, who are really and truly blind about Islam and what it stands for.

But there are also millions of innocent Muslims and Arabs around the world. I just wonder how many have fallen prey to prejudice.

Acceptance

A non-Muslim friend once mentioned that Muslims seem to cope with death better than non-Muslims. There is an air of calmness when someone passes on in a Muslim family. Family members do not wail or scream out loud in protests of unfairness. No one condemns anyone. Nobody points fingers.

I hoped this was the case, and was glad to know this was her perception on how Muslims dealt with death as it was accurate.

I explained to her that surrendering to Allah Ta'ala and being a Muslim did only comprise of living our lives but also believing in death and the hereafter, as our deeds on earth will be reflected in the latter.

I had a harrowing weekend to say the least.

Someone I care about lost her unborn baby. It is not a loss of life like we know it. In this case, life was never given to the baby. Miscarriages happen, I know. But they usually happen to other people, friends of friends, distant relatives, women who appear on tv. It has never happened to anyone this close to me before.

Fortunately, her acceptance has helped her presevere through the loss and her surrendership to the Creator has helped her understand that sometimes life is not the best thing for everyone. Because of this, she has remained calm, strong and positive. All because she has surrendered to Allah's will.

Another person I love is battling her last days, caving in to cervical cancer. She is living on drugs and alot of reassurance and support from her family and close friends.

Many of her visitors cry when they see her. She is unwell and frail. There is nothing wrong with crying, as it is in our humanness and it shows sorrow that comes from the heart.

But death for Muslims is the natural route of inclination as we say inna lillahi wa inna lillah rajioon. From Allah we come, and to Allah we return.

I must admit that acceptance does not come easily for everyone and until we are in that position, we cannot play judge upon the feelings they are going through. However, during difficult times there is always the reassurance that we do not live in vain. We live for Allah Ta'ala and this gives us reason to remain calm during times of dire stress and uncertainty.

I guess when my friend mentioned that Muslims cope better with death than other people, she actually meant that Muslims accept death better than other people.

And what can we do for those who pass on? Remember their good deeds and at best remember them in our prayers.

Those who pray, Our Lord, forgive us and those who have gone before us in faith and do not leave in our hearts any ill-feeling or malice towards those who cherish faith. (Al-Hashr 59: 10)

Eid al Fitr (Holiday Feast)

Depending on where Muslims are located throughout the world, they may have celebrated Eid today, while some tomorrow, and the rest may even be on Sunday. Yup, you are not seeing a typo. For some reason, Muslims could never agree to celebrate the Eid on the same day around the world.

Declaring it an Eid, takes work. It is based on traditions (called Hadiths) that our prophet Muhammed did.

However, declaring Eid on different days is a controversial topic amongst Muslims, especially in the U.S. In one large city, you will find some Muslims celebrating today, the set of Muslims fasting today and will celebrate tomorrow. I guess it depends on the interpretation you take or follow.

Don't get me wrong, there were times when the entire Muslim population celebrated Eid on the same day.

Anyways, I want to shout out Eid Mubarek to all the Muslims around the world.

The Midi Market of the Future

In a general 3-stage guide, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) advised his followers on how to treat their children in accordance to their age group.

"From birth to the age of seven, play with them; to teach them thereafter, until the age of 14; and to be their friend throughout the teenage years, until they reach 21."

To any parent, these guidelines are extremely wide and have many dimensions of interpretation, yet they come with undeniable wisdom and allow us to develop our parenting skills with relentless care and sensitivity.

Zooming in on the second age-group of children, the one he (peace upon him) relates to as the "learning age group" of 7-14, any parent would know that children this age learn quickly, absorb new lessons effectively and are able to rationalise on what they have learned.

Children this age look up intently for role models and tend to find comfort in the parent that shares the same gender. Parents in turn should pay alot of attention to these eager minds and nosy parkers because this is the right age to start teaching children right from wrong.

From age 14 onwards, children tend to grow into the wonky hormonal stage of puberty and teenage years and from then on, communicating with your child takes on a whole new meaning.

When Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) talked about teaching children, he did not only mean sitting down and looking over homework. Learning at this stage can stand is a daily activity for a child.

Bare in mind then, however conscientious we are at "teaching" our children, there is also the danger of them learning lessons subconsciously from our own carelessness.

Once upon a time, when I was in that age bracket of 7-14, (it was not that long ago really, lol), we had an opportunity to live in Brussles, Belgium. My siblings and I attended an International School, comprising mostly of European students, mainly British.

Being a Muslim family living in the West, the hunt for halal food was inevitable, and the one place in Brussels that Islamically slaughtered chicken and meat was available was in a place called Midi Market.

Midi Market was represented the home for the Morrocan community in Brussels. You would really feel different upon entering the marketplace. It was like standing on the border of Morroco, if you like, though I have never had the pleasure of visiting that country. There were no Belgian people there, just Morrocans and more Morrocans.

Unfortunately, there was a general sentiment amongst the locals, as well as other inhabitants in Belgium that these Moroccan people were really not that nice. Many Malaysians had encounters with them, the youth mostly, asking for money and mostly causing problems on public transportations. Many were also known to pick-pocket. One of my dad's friends had his coat spat on when he refused their requests for loose change.

No, Morrocans were not nice. This was what I was told, over and over again, through a series of many stories.

After a while, my siblings and I never ventured out to Midi market with my parents for their weekly groceries. Too many Morrocans, they would warn, as they drove across the city to the only place halal meat was available.

I would lie if I said I did not agree with them at the time. A few years later during my wonky teenage years I was waiting for a friend during a shopping spree and a Morrocan teenager came up to me. He asked for money, so I said "no." Then he asked again, and I persisted "no." Then he said I had a nice winter jacket and he had nothing to eat. I plonked in some coins into his cup but before I heard them jingle against the plastic, three other guys were advancing towards me, palms outstretch for change. I fled the scene.

After I nearly killed my friend for making me wait for so long I saw my Morrocan buddy chain-smoking at the corner of the street. I concluded he was an idiot.

That incident just fortified my dislike for the Morrocan community living in Brussles. To me, they were all trouble makers.

A couple of wonky years later, in an undisputed peculiar twist of fate and faith, I decided to wear the hijab. That is a different story all together. I was not living in Belgium, but had moved back to my home-country to study.

My family remained in Brussles and I would visit them during my study breaks.

Things were definitely different the moment I entered the country dressed as I was. I now looked like a Muslim.

Walking down the street malls a few years before, I would have never attracted attention - so I was Asian and short, no big deal. With my headscarf however, it was very differnt.

Women would hang on to their handbags and pull them around acorss their chests. Their husbands / boyfriends / friends would tell them to, yelling "hang on to your bag! Hang on to your purse!" And so they did. I would also notice how their pupils would make an indefinite turn to keep me in the corner of their sight, and no matter much shorter I was compared to them, it was actually possible.

Mothers would pull their kids out of the way... or in fact pull them out of my way... and then pull their bags out of my reach.

People would definitely stare and then pretend not to stare, and then stare again, palms around their valuables.

For many moments thereon, I felt like how it would have to felt to be a Morrocan from Midi market. The ones who were marginalised by everyone, except Muslims when their freezers ran dry of halal meat. But even that did not stop them from spreading the nasty stories about the one or two not very nice teenagers on the local tram.

I also realised that I had been taught during my years of learning that anyone who looked vaguely Morrocan was either a loose-change beggar or a pick-pocketer. I had been taught that Morrocans were just not very nice people. Now I was one of them.

The final embellishment came from someone still dawdling in the learning age group - my little brother. He said to me, "Maria, you look like an Islamic terrorist." Did I conclude that he was an idiot. Maybe, at that time, but now, years later I realise that he had been taught to think that way too.

"All mankind is from Adam and Eve. An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor does a non-Arab have any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over a white except by piety and good action."
(Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) farewell sermon).

You can't help to reflect that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) warned us against racism during his time as Prophet - he even reminded his followers to eradicate racial discrimination during his farewell sermon.

Unfortunately, as much as Muslims are being discriminated against by non-Muslims who are educated by mainstream media, this hate crime exists within Muslim societies of our own. To make matters worse, children, young children, have their ears peeled open and listen to our laments of "other Muslims" of "other ethnicities" with such distaste.

You can't get enough of a certain hierarchy within the Muslim world. Purple Muslims are better than Blue Muslims. Blue Muslims are smarter than Orange Muslims. Orange Muslims are more beautiful than Pink Muslims. Pink Muslims build better Masjids than Green Muslims. The lists goes on, and we are passing on that very same list to the next Muslim generation - that eager mind and nosy parker listening intently as you and your spouse complain about the Brown Muslim family living down the street.

I'm sure there were sour apples in one of the million baskets in Midi market. I had a run in with one of them, a memory that will stick with me forever. What I do not want forever though, is the lesson I learned of Morrocan people so horridly stereotyped that every Muslim would be known as thief or a scoundrel... let alone an Islamic terrorist.

Now that I am way above the age of consent in any country and addicted to the Internet - mostly for work - I find Midi markets everywhere, in every nook and cranny. In fact, I visit them all the time. I interact with them and I learn from them every single day.

I have met Muslim sisters who have reverted to the beautiful faith through their wonderful Morrocan husbands. I have learned how these families manage themselves and live in accordance to Islamic creed. I have met Morrocan brothers and sisters so steadfast in their faith, that any Muslim - Blue, Yellor or Magenta - would pause in awe, and say Masha'Allah.

Maybe that is something we would like to pass on to our eager minds and nosy parkers.

I feel horrible for the Morrocans who live in Brussels mostly because I had such a negative perception on all of them, even though there were many sweet apples in the baskets at Midi market.

With enough problems on our plates, Muslims need to hold steadfast together. This will not only stengthen the present ummah that is grappling dangerously with diversity and constant change with different Muslim societal infrastructures - it is also necessary for our children.

They learn from us every day and it is their right to be taught right from wrong - whether consciously or carelessly.

And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth Allah make His Signs clear to you: That ye may be guided. (Al `Imran 3: 103)

Stereotypes of Muslims and Arabs

Stereotypes of Muslims and Arabs need to be corrected. I had some friends tell me, if they didn't know me they would have believed t hose stereotypes. Yes, they are non Arab and Non Muslim. I thanked them for their honesty, yet I realize that many Muslims and Arabs have to work hard to correct those stereotypes.

We need to be doing our effort in "volunteering" correct information. Socialize. Get to know your neighbor and vice versa. Volunteer at your child's school. Join a local organization that does volunteer work for the community. Share your food. I am telling you food is a the key. Born and raised in the good ol' US, I have seen food do wonders to many people.

So, I am telling you my fellow Muslims and Arabs and supporters, do something to help correct those stereotypes.

The people are one thing...

Despite the embarrassment of this, I assure curious seekers and learners that this DOES NOT represent the general Arab or Muslim population--just the institutions unfortunately. We have brilliant Arabs and Muslims, but unfortunately they are hardly recognized in the Arab or Muslim world. So, many come to the West and are greatly appreciated for their knowledge and skill. What do they call this? Um...Brain Drain???? This hurts the Arab and Muslim worlds.


Arab Universities Not On List Of 300 Best
The Jordanian daily Al-Dustour has reported that not a single Arab or Muslim university is included among the 300 best universities worldwide.
The paper also reported that none of the Muslim countries, some of which are extremely wealthy, are among the 20 countries that spend the most on research and development.
By contrast, India and China had 1.2 million students graduating last year with science and engineering degrees.
Source: Al-Dustour, Jordan, May 23, 2007

Food...An Icebreaker...

I just thought of something the other day. If you ever need to work with new people, a good way to break the ice is to bring them ethnic food. I have done that recently. It is a good method for them to see and taste your food. It allows that person to think, "interesting, their food is pretty good."

Food, especially that is good, tends to change a person's point of view of other cultures. I gave one of my non Arab coworkers some Baklawa. They loved it. This Baklawa was from Shatilla, a place in Michigan. I am not promoting this in any way. I don't even live in Michigan, but somewhere else in the U.S. :) My coworker was surprised. I said, why? Dearborn is the Middle East capital of USA. When they get a chance, my coworker is planning to visit Dearborn.

A little bit about myself...I live no where near Arabs, although I am one. I am surrounded by mostly non Arab and non Muslim people. Yes, my family and I have to be excellent role models. However, we do our best to help improve Muslims and Arabs reputation.

I Am Baaaaaaaack!!

Salaam, hello, and greetings to all.

After being away from this blog, I decided to come back, and continue with this blog to learn more about myself and to help others learn about Muslims and Arabs, and eventually themselves.

My goal is to blog everyday, if not definitely every other day. So keep checking and reading.

Take care.

The Humanist