Acceptance

A non-Muslim friend once mentioned that Muslims seem to cope with death better than non-Muslims. There is an air of calmness when someone passes on in a Muslim family. Family members do not wail or scream out loud in protests of unfairness. No one condemns anyone. Nobody points fingers.

I hoped this was the case, and was glad to know this was her perception on how Muslims dealt with death as it was accurate.

I explained to her that surrendering to Allah Ta'ala and being a Muslim did only comprise of living our lives but also believing in death and the hereafter, as our deeds on earth will be reflected in the latter.

I had a harrowing weekend to say the least.

Someone I care about lost her unborn baby. It is not a loss of life like we know it. In this case, life was never given to the baby. Miscarriages happen, I know. But they usually happen to other people, friends of friends, distant relatives, women who appear on tv. It has never happened to anyone this close to me before.

Fortunately, her acceptance has helped her presevere through the loss and her surrendership to the Creator has helped her understand that sometimes life is not the best thing for everyone. Because of this, she has remained calm, strong and positive. All because she has surrendered to Allah's will.

Another person I love is battling her last days, caving in to cervical cancer. She is living on drugs and alot of reassurance and support from her family and close friends.

Many of her visitors cry when they see her. She is unwell and frail. There is nothing wrong with crying, as it is in our humanness and it shows sorrow that comes from the heart.

But death for Muslims is the natural route of inclination as we say inna lillahi wa inna lillah rajioon. From Allah we come, and to Allah we return.

I must admit that acceptance does not come easily for everyone and until we are in that position, we cannot play judge upon the feelings they are going through. However, during difficult times there is always the reassurance that we do not live in vain. We live for Allah Ta'ala and this gives us reason to remain calm during times of dire stress and uncertainty.

I guess when my friend mentioned that Muslims cope better with death than other people, she actually meant that Muslims accept death better than other people.

And what can we do for those who pass on? Remember their good deeds and at best remember them in our prayers.

Those who pray, Our Lord, forgive us and those who have gone before us in faith and do not leave in our hearts any ill-feeling or malice towards those who cherish faith. (Al-Hashr 59: 10)